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Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Daily Dilemma: Cook on a Crack; Break Your Husband’s Back



Evidence Exhibit A: The crack.

In a shocking and surprising twist, imperfect wife and mother, Shut Up Sister Gina, decided to surprise her hard-working husband by preparing (that’s COOKING, not PHONING IN) his favorite meal in a crockpot. Unbeknownst to Imperfect Gina, the heat of the crockpot actually created a rather large crack in their kitchen countertops (See Evidence Exhibit A). Gina is looking for a pleasant and loving way to tell her husband (who thankfully does not read what she writes) that she is responsible for the crack in the countertop.  Gina has provided some possible explanations for telling him, which are outlined below. Please cast your vote for the one you like best or write in your own suggestion. Results, including the result of her marital status, will be shared in a later post.

Cast your Imperfect Explanation Vote: 

A) “Honey, I didn’t shrink the kids, but I did crack the countertop.”

B) “Sweetie, I’m just glad our marriage is a lot more solid than our countertops.”

C) “See Lamb Chop, this is why I don’t ever go in the kitchen.”

D) “I’m telling you Snookems, you need a license to drive, but any crackpot can operate a crockpot.”

E) Your suggestion here __________________.


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