OK, we know this could be a Hollywood rumor, but our trusted sources at the National Enquirer (the tabloid that broke the stories about the John Edwards affair and that the moon was made of cheese) are reporting that Jessica’s Simpson’s fiance, Eric Johnson, has given her an ultimatum: slim down or no wedding. Could this really be true? We know that Jessica may not be the smartest fish in the school (recall, she thought that Chicken of the Sea was chicken), but she pretty much embodies physical perfection and the things guys love most – blonde hair, beauty, boobies, and billions.
Whatever the case, we can sympathize with her pre-wedding weight battle. Getting fitted for a wedding dress is stressful. It sure was for Gina who had a seamstress who liked to point out her body flaws (all 39,000 of them).
“Miss, you have the biggest rib cage I’ve ever seen in my 39 years of fitting brides.”
She had Gina so worried about her weight that on the day of the wedding, Gina barely ate. “And the bride cuts the pea. The bride cuts the pea.”
Do you think this is true? Did Jessica’s fiance really give her this ultimatum? And more importantly, do you know anyone with a bigger rib cage than Gina?