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Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

I Promise to Love You, Honor You, and Run Away with You

Wooden Wedding Bands made out of Black Ebony and Maple wood.

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Don’t let Ward and June Cleaver fool you; marriage is tough. It’s especially tough on couples who have the added stress of raising children with disabilities. The truth is, men and women handle that stress very differently. In Gina’s home for example, she likes to get everything out on the table, while her husband chooses to bring another method to the table. “Mike, could you please take off that iPod? I was complaining about the kids.”  One of the best ways to deal with stress is to make time for each other. Years ago, Gina and Mike’s  closest friends (both of whom who have been married before) shared one of the keys for their marital success.

“Marriage is hard. You have to constantly work at it,” they said.

“How do you do that?” Gina and Mike asked.

“We set the alarm for 5:30 a.m. every day  and have coffee in bed and talk about work and the kids, etc..”

Gina and Mike were amazed.

“But that’s when Sports Center is on,” protested Mike.

“And I need my beauty sleep. Have you ever seen me in the morning?” protested Gina.

While this method may not be the best choice for Mike and his narcoleptic wife, they have instituted their own solution — date night. Often this involves taking off for a few hours during the weekend alone without the kids, dogs, and carpenter ants. Sometimes, they’ll meet friends for dinner or drinks and sometimes they aimlessly roam the aisles at B.J.’s and revisit their younger days. “What do you say Gene? We’ll buy this pallet of Double Bubble and hide it from the kids.”  They’ve also been known to sneak out for coffee in the evenings when the stress gets really bad. “Mike go tell them you’re getting the mail. I’ll be waiting around the corner to pick you up.”

The important thing is that it’s allowed Gina and Mike to reconnect and talk without the kids, to remember why they liked each other in the first place, and to ensure they maintain a united front with their kids. “Gene, they’re being really disrespectful. Let’s gang up on them.”

What do you think? Are you able to spend any time with your spouse/partner/significant other?  How has it helped you?

The link to the article below provides some helpful insights on ways

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2 Responses to I Promise to Love You, Honor You, and Run Away with You

  1. Sandra Compton March 23, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    My husband and I have been together 23 years,,, and have had alot of time to do things badly,, do things well,, and just make a mess,,,, for the last 7 years we have “fishing night” and watch either a rerun or an old episode of deadliest catch (the boys will watch too) but this is time we set aside to hang out together, talk, play cards, eat a special meal and no matter how bad our week is we set aside what we call “fishing night” sometimes we watch something else,, but the main focus is to join us together on common ground,, enjoy our time and problem solve,, some may laugh at our choice by calling it fishin night,,,, but to us it is just another quirk that is strictly Ed and Sandy ,,,,

  2. Michelle Jones March 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    I wish we had something special like “fishing night”! We have tried date night, but can’t keep up with it, something Always happens, no money, too tired etc. going to have think of something that will work for us. We really do miss each other sometimes…. between the times want to kill each other! 😛

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