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Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Meet Today’s Guest Blogger – Wendy Madere

As part of our Guest Blogger series, we’re proud to introduce today’s blogger, Wendy Madere (virtual applause now please). It’s often been said that the process of learning your child has a disability can feel like a mourning process for parents, as they have to mourn the loss of the “perfect life” they had planned for their children.Wendy shares her view about this in her blog below.  Please take a moment to read it and to visit Wendy’s blog page.

Take 2 and call me in the morning (wait cut that by half, add this, and we’ll hope for the best)

March 11, 2012

My mind and heart have been in turmoil for the past two weeks. I was doing ok with D’s issues but things have become compounded.

For the most part, I’m in the acceptance stage of grief. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When you experience a life changing event such as divorce, death, and illness you work through the stages. I have done that with D’s diagnoses.

Learning that D had ADHD wasn’t life changing. We went through a slew of bad doctors before finding the perfect child psychiatrist for us. We tried different medications and types of therapy to help him. We were ok with the fact that he needed help with his impulsivity and focus. But, when I was faced with the fact that our son was mentally ill and would likely always have to deal with depression, anxiety, mood disorders, and now a pervasive developmental disorder I felt like I was punched in the gut. I thought/felt:
1. Denial-The doctors are wrong (ALL of them). They just don’t know MY son. They are just trying to drug him.
2. Anger- I can’t believe these people don’t understand my son. All kids are like this!!!!! They throw fits and cry and scream and yell. They can’t sit still or pay attention. This is just stupid.

To finish reading this post, visit Wendy’s blog.

Tell us what part of the mourning cycle you struggle with.

 

 

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