This great list was put together with the help of our very cool and imperfect Facebook family.
#9) “Recounting the many ways I am fortunate to have such a handsome, sexy husband in my life.”
#8) “I was reading a very educational book — Fifty Shades of Grey. Would you like me to show you what I’ve learned?”
#7) “I performed miracles. No one died.”
#6) “I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to the tune of “When the Saints Come Marching In.” Then, I proceeded to walk down the stairs and to the pantry where I took out a box of Fibre One cereal. I then poured the cereal in my new Corelle Morning-Bird china bowl, being careful not to add more than 1/4 cup of fat-free milk, thereby making my caloric intake for breakfast no more than 250. While eating my breakfast I read an interesting study on the gastrointestinal effects of gluten products on fruit flies. The conclusion was startling; I can’t wait to tell you. Oh and you just have to hear what Doctor Oz said is the leading cause of dry mouth in menopausal women. That fiber really is something. Do you know how many times I had to go to the “little girls room?”
#5) “Pre-planning Junior’s electomagnet science project so you would not have to be bothered doing so when you come home tired from work.”
# 4) “Revisiting our insurance policies. I didn’t have nearly enough on you. Can I fix you a drink?”
# 3) “Reading through the Parents Rights brochure and the IEP paperwork in preparation for our upcoming Team Meeting. I’m sorry Hon, should I have waited for you to do that?
# 2) “Refining our estate plan to ensure that if something unfortunate were to happen to me you would have caregivers lined up for you and the children.”
#1) “Plotting the perfect murder and cooking dinner. You like Leg of Lamb right, Hon?”