When you lose a mother, there is so much to mourn: the mother from your childhood and the trusted friend from adulthood. Patty and Gina have deeply missed those mothers as well as another: the mother who loved our children. Anyone who knew our mother knew how proud she was of her seven grandchildren. The feeling was very mutual as her grandchildren all loved her and shared a special relationship with her. Since her passing, her grandchildren have openly talked about their feelings toward the loss of their grandmother.
Well, all except one: her youngest granddaughter, Emily.
Emily was 12 when her grandmother passed away. At that time, she suffered great anxiety and depression and wasn’t strong enough to attend the funeral services. Gina, Emily’s Mom, was really concerned about Emily because she didn’t cry or even talk about the loss of her grandmother. It was as though Emily’s grandmother never existed. Gina knew it was just too painful for Emily and that she just wasn’t ready. Emily even avoided visits to see her grandfather because the pain of seeing him without her grandmother was too much to bear.
While all our mother’s grandchildren had a special bond with her, the one with Emily was particularly special; they were best buddies. Our mother was there for Emily during the most difficult time in Emily’s life: when Emily had to be removed from the public school to be tutored at home for two years. During that time, Emily grew depressed and lost all her friends. To help out Gina and to cheer up her sad granddaughter, our mother would often take Emily during the day. Our father was astounded by their connection, “Gina, your mother does everything with her. They bake, they shop, they do puzzles. They even clean. She really gets Emily laughing and giggling. I don’t know where your mother gets the energy. I don’t have it.”
Earlier in the year, 18 months after her grandmother’s passing, Emily surprised Gina by opening up. They were driving in the car when Emily said:
“My friend Tim lost his best friend.”
“Oh Honey, I’m so sorry for Tim. Who did he lose?”
“It was his dog, Mom. I told him that I understand and that I lost a best friend, too.”
“You did?” Gina asked surprised. “Who did you lose?”
“I lost Nana, Mom. She was my best friend. She was always there for me.”
Gina was saddened, but relieved that Emily was finally opening up. She didn’t know it at that time, but that day was a turning point for Emily. Little by little, she began talking about her grandmother and looking at pictures. And recently, Gina woke up to check her Facebook page and found the following posted from Emily. Words could not describe Gina’s pride for her mother and for her daughter who is so much like her.
my tribute to nana
because of you i am kind
because of you i know how to clean more
because of you i learn not to sweat the small stuff
because of you i have a kind loving heart
because of you there is a reason to try new things
because of you life is good
because of you i have some 1 to talk to
because of you i am more caring
because of you i pick the right thing to do
because of you i dont worry as much
because of you i think of people more than myself
because of you i laugh alot
because of you we had all those great times together
because of you i have self esteem
because of you i think before i do things
because of you i have a humungus heart
your buddy (emmy)
Do you have a story about your special child and their grandparent? We know Emily would love to hear it.