Connect with us
facebook twitter LinkedIn

Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

A Special Tribute from a Special Granddaughter

A young Em and her beloved grandmother.

When you lose a mother, there is so much to mourn: the mother from your childhood and the trusted friend from adulthood. Patty and Gina have deeply missed those mothers as well as another: the mother who loved our children. Anyone who knew our mother knew how proud she was of her seven grandchildren. The feeling was very mutual as her grandchildren all loved her and shared a special relationship with her.  Since her passing, her grandchildren have openly talked about their feelings toward the loss of their grandmother.

Well, all except one: her youngest granddaughter, Emily.

Emily was 12 when her grandmother passed away. At that time, she suffered great anxiety and depression and wasn’t strong enough to attend the funeral services. Gina, Emily’s Mom, was really concerned about Emily because she didn’t cry or even talk about the loss of her grandmother. It was as though Emily’s grandmother never existed. Gina knew it was just too painful for Emily and that she just wasn’t ready.  Emily even avoided visits to see her grandfather because the pain of seeing him without her grandmother was too much to bear.

While all our mother’s grandchildren had a special bond with her, the one with Emily was particularly special; they were best buddies. Our mother was there for Emily during the most difficult time in Emily’s life: when Emily had to be removed from the public school to be tutored at home for two years. During that time, Emily grew depressed and lost all her friends. To help out Gina and to cheer up her sad granddaughter, our mother would often take Emily during the day. Our father was astounded by their connection, “Gina, your mother does everything with her. They bake, they shop, they do puzzles. They even clean. She really gets Emily laughing and giggling. I don’t know where your mother gets the energy. I  don’t have it.”

Earlier in the year, 18 months after her grandmother’s passing, Emily surprised Gina by opening up. They were driving in the car when Emily said:

“My friend Tim lost his best friend.”

“Oh Honey, I’m so sorry for Tim. Who did he lose?”

“It was his dog, Mom. I told him that I understand and that I lost a best friend, too.”

“You did?” Gina asked surprised. “Who did you lose?”

“I lost Nana, Mom. She was my best friend. She was always there for me.”

Gina was saddened, but relieved that Emily was finally opening up.  She didn’t know it at that time, but that day was a turning point for Emily. Little by little, she began talking about her grandmother and looking at pictures. And recently, Gina woke up to check her Facebook page and found the following posted from Emily. Words could not describe Gina’s pride for her mother and for her daughter who is so much like her.

my tribute to nana
because of you i am kind

because of you i know how to clean more

because of you i learn not to sweat the small stuff

because of you i have a kind loving heart

because of you there is a reason to try new things

because of you life is good

because of you i have some 1 to talk to

because of you i am more caring

because of you i pick the right thing to do

because of you i dont worry as much

because of you i think of people more than myself

because of you i laugh alot

because of you we had all those great times together

because of you i have self esteem

because of you i think before i do things

because of you i have a humungus heart

your buddy (emmy)

Do you have a story about your special child and their grandparent? We know Emily would love to hear it.


2 Responses to A Special Tribute from a Special Granddaughter

  1. Nancy March 25, 2013 at 1:57 pm #

    This was so brought me to tears..Just beautiful.My daughter has a similar relationship with my mom.I will get my daughter to read this. Thank you for posting:)

  2. Christine Ploog March 25, 2013 at 2:26 pm #

    WOW! I am in tears. What a great post My mom passed away when she was 50 so none of my kids got to know her. I like to think that they would have had that special kind of relationship, too.

Leave a Reply

Join our imperfect mailing list.

Sign up for our Email Newsletter

I consent to receive your newsletter.