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Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Blue is in the air! It’s World Autism Awareness Day.

If  you see a lot of blue today, don’t think we’re being invaded by Smurfs. Today is World Autism Awareness Day, which is why you may see the color blue lighting up homes, bridges, and buildings. (Kudos to Kmart for jumping on this trend years ago with their famed “Blue Light Specials.”)  In celebration of World Autism Awareness Day, we asked parents on our Facebook page to complete the thought below.

You know you’re raising a child with autism when…  

Here are some of their very funny responses:

You have an entire deep freezer dedicated to one child who only eats five foods, including chicken nuggets, which have to be a certain brand and a certain shape.

You run when there is a sale on elastic waist pants and seamless socks.

There is a meltdown because your daughter blew all the bubbles and you forgot to buy more.

Your water gets cut off because your bill tripled without you realizing it was due to your kid’s flushing stim.

All your furniture has been chewed by your child and not the animals.

You panic if you run out of tomato sauce/ ketchup.

You have a parade when your child gets invited to a birthday party.

You carve up peanut butter sandwiches for Thanksgiving dinner.

You avoid bathrooms with loud toilets.

Your child’s dentist uses laughing gas on himself.

You have nine of the same blue t-shirts in the closet, all lined up by shade and hue.

The toy cars are put away in a line, biggest to smallest and color order….. BY ME….to prevent the meltdown that would otherwise ensue.

You think 3:00 a.m. is a perfectly normal time to be watching Thomas the Tank for the 385th time this week.

You are used to looks of scorn from random members of the public. In fact, you have learned to give them a score them 1 out of 10 for the horrible looks they give your son (anything below 5, and you are allowed to give them pointers on how to look more horrified).

You spend 10x as much on therapies than you would on extracurricular activities.

You actually spend enough to warrant the medical deduction off your taxes.

You know your insurance company’s and state regulations on healthcare coverage better than the professionals do.

Your neurotypical child is crying because the Play Dough model of the solar system he made for science class was eaten as a snack when he went outside to play.

Naked is the preferred way to jump on the trampoline.

When family thinks you’re “antisocial” and get all insulted because you don’t accept invitations to their homes, even on holidays, when in reality it’s because their homes aren’t autism-proofed or autism-friendly.

You moved the couch to make space for a mini trampoline in the living room.

Your spare bedroom is now called the “sensory room.”

Your child doesn’t have one pair of jeans.

Nothing phases you.

You naturally take the same route regardless of the fact that A) you’re not on the way home from school; and B) your child is not even in the car.

And lastly…

You’re wearing head-to toe blue today;  your porch light is blue; your kid’s bedroom light is blue, and your son couldn’t be happier over “his” day.

To see more responses, visit our Facebook page.  Oh and tell us how you know you’re raising a child with autism.


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