If You Commit The Library Crime, You’ve Gotta Do the Time?

January 6th, 2012 | No Comments

When you’re a working parent of two special needs children, it’s not uncommon to be a bit forgetful. This forgetfulness might occur in the form of missed therapist appointments, unfilled prescriptions, or confusion with themed school events. (“Mommy, I told you, today was school picture day NOT crazy hair day!”) In the past year, due to her daughters’ growing maturity, Gina has been far less forgetful. “Mommy, you can’t go to the gym. I’ll miss my Saturday Social Group.”

There was, however, one thing that Gina was very forgetful with — returning library books. In fact, due to our mother’s illness and other events this summer, she completely forgot to return three of them — creating a hefty library fine of nearly two hundred dollars. Too embarrassed to return them, Gina held on to them longer into the fall. She was quite ashamed, and certainly wasn’t brought up to do this as both of our parents had stellar library records.  Fearful that she might be called out for her crime publicly, she avoided in-town stores and events. It wasn’t until a fellow resident informed her about fine-free Wednesdays that she was ready to face her crime. So, early one Wednesday morning, she trekked to the library in her trench coat and dark glasses and dropped them off, finally releasing herself of the burden and the humiliation.

Gina was one of the lucky ones, however, a cute little 5-year-old girl from from Charlton, MA,  didn’t get off so easy. She actually had a policeman come to her house to scare her straight for  her overdue library book, causing the poor little girl anxiety.Keep in mind, this is Massachusetts, the state where corruption runs rampant.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57351513-504083/mass-library-sends-cops-to-collect-overdue-books-from-5-year-old/

Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Should Gina be allowed to walk free when this poor child is traumatized?

 

 

 

She Ain’t Heavy; Her Butt’s Filled With Cement

November 22nd, 2011 | 1 Comment

Those who have known us for awhile or even met us in person know that we are big on being honest and admitting our imperfections. It’s why we openly share that we are “not that bright.”  We do, however, think we are much brighter than the woman in the article below. Apparently, she decided that her body wasn’t curvy enough and that she needed an enhanced behind. But she wasn’t looking for any behind — she wanted a bargain behind that would work with her limited butt-get. Since Wal-Mart does not offer “Everyday Low Prices” on cosmetic surgery, she turned to Oneal Ron Morris, a convict who posed as a cosmetic surgeon. Oneal helped her reach her curvier goal (see pictures in link below), however, he pumped up her behind with cement  mineral oil and flat tire sealant. There is also some unconfirmed speculation that he also used a school bus.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45361508/ns/local_news-miami_fl/#.TsvO9k_8p7M

Clearly, the victim should have clued in when she saw the cement mixer outside.

What do you think?  Do you think she’s not bright or just the butt of a bad joke?

 

A Mother of An Idea — New Imperfect Book in the Works

November 10th, 2011 | No Comments

 

 

P and G are pleased to announce that we’ve begun work on our next book. And we’re not just talking about our checkbook (we do plenty of work with that). In honor of our loving mother, Viola, who passed away in August, we are going to write a humorous heartwarming book that celebrates the gifts and love of our mothers. If you’ve lost a mother, mother figure, or grandmother and would like to contribute a reflection or humorous story, send an email to info@shutuapbout.com. Also, we’re pleased to announce the launch of our new Facebook page, Mother Always Said... There, you can post pictures and share stories with others who want to celebrate the gifts of our mothers. As always, thank you for your tremendous support as we attempt to give thanks to the wonderful, loving and imperfect woman who gave us so much.

Did you know… October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month

October 20th, 2011 | No Comments

 

If you wouldn’t mind taking a break from your leaf peeping, pumpkin carving, or candy shopping, we’d like to tell you about an important event in October — Spina Bifida Awareness Month. We were shocked to learn that that every day in the United States, an average of 8 births are affected by Spina Bifida or a similar birth defect of the brain and spine.

Here are some facts about Spina Bifida:

·        Spina Bifida remains the most commonly occurring complex birth defect in this country.

·        The root cause of Spina Bifida is unknown and the effects for each person are different.

·        Spina Bifida is a multitude of problems that affect the mind, the body and the spirit.

·        Advancements in treatment and prevention have opened new doors for those with Spina Bifida.

·        While it presents unique challenges, those affected by Spina Bifida are able to attend school, work, raise a family, and spend time with friends just like everyone else.

 

This year the Spina Bifida Association  hopes to bring to light through pictures the successes of those who live each day with this birth defect.  By launching “Celebrate SB,” a Facebook photo contest <http://www.facebook.com/spina.bifida.learn> designed to acknowledge the accomplishments of the Spina Bifida community, people around the country can encourage each other to tell their story through a symbolic photo or favorite frame. These pictures aim to highlight how our community celebrates their lives.  Click  <http://www.westglen.com/online/CelebrateSB.pdf>for “Celebrate SB” contest rules!

It would warm our imperfect hearts if you could celebrate awareness of Spina Bifida by joining  the Spina Bifida Association on Facebook <Doggie got issues? October 11th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Since we’ve been traveling the country speaking, we’ve become familiar with many different types of mental health conditions and disabilities. We’re thrilled to have gained this knowledge, though our husbands think we take things too far. “What do you mean you’ve diagnosed the Fed Ex man with OCD? He has to get  your signature.”  We’ve even applied this knowledge to our dogs, Max and Rocky. Patty is convinced Rocky has an eating disorder and Gina is convinced her dog Max has Asperger’s.

“Pat, do you ever notice Max doesn’t look you in the eye when you talk to him? I think he’s an Aspie.”

“Gene, don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t have Asperger’s. He’s just stealing from you.”

We actually do believe  some dogs suffer from anxiety and depression, and were not at all surprised to learn that there are actually medicines to treat them. Check out the article below that discusses how Doggie Prozac has helped dogs with separation anxiety.

Have you diagnosed one of your pets with a mental health issue or disability? Tell us about it.

http://teddyhilton.com/2011-10-11-puppy-prozac-helps-dogs-deal-with-separation-anxiety/?from=PH

 

Take It E.Z.– Life Goes On for Lightbulb Cookers

September 19th, 2011 | 3 Comments

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, neither of us are fans of change. Specifically, the ones we’ve both been experiencing over the past few years. “Mommy, please turn off the air conditioning. It’s snowing outside.”  Our latest concern is regarding the 2007 legislation that will replace the incandescent  lightbulb. We have two pressing questions over the new lightbulb changes coming, including:

1) Will we still see incandescent lightbulbs over our heads when we have a good idea?

2) And most importantly, what will become of the Easy Bake Oven, which is powered by incandescent lightbulbs?

While our calls to the U.S. Government about the first question have remained unanswered, we do have clarification on the second question. It appears that Hasbro, makers of the Easy Bake Oven, have redesigned the oven to offer an alternate source of heat — a 100-watt space heater. That’s not all. While they were tinkering under the hood, they decided to re-vamp the outside and give it a fun, trendy new look. Clearly, this is “not your mother’s Easy Bank Oven,” though our mother never had one. We’re not sure if that’s why she never bought us one. Whatever her reason, she did us a disservice. Sometimes it’s hard not to be bitter and think about what our lives might have become had we possessed one.

“Pat, if I had one back then, I probably wouldn’t call the kids to dinner by telling them to get in the car.”

“I hear you Gina. And I’d probably be competing on Bravo’s Top Lightbulb Chef, too.”

Well, since our mother’s passing, we realized that we are adults (at least by age anyway), and decided that it’s time we flew on our own. As a result, we will be purchasing a new Easy Bake Oven. We were so excited, we even told our father.

“Dad, guess which two people are cooking Thanksgiving dinner?”

Sounds like a brilliant idea to us. And speaking of brilliant ideas, did you see a squiggly or incandescent lightbulb over our heads when we came up with it?

Put on Your Pity Party Pants!

September 14th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Let’s face it, we’re all human. Well most of us are, except for some the pets and imaginary friends that are on our Facebook page. And in being human, it’s not uncommon for us to feel sorry for ourselves when things don’t work out the way we planned for us or our children. On these occasions, it’s not uncommon for us to throw a pity party. Our most recent blog for Psychology Today discusses the pity party phenomenon. Check it out.  Be sure to leave a comment.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shut-about-your-perfect-kid/201109/put-your-party-pants-were-having-pity-party

Do you frequently host/attend pity parties?

Product of the Week — Forever Lazy

September 12th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Step aside, Snuggie fans. There’s a new product to hit the lounge wear scene — the Forever Lazy. It looks like a Snuggie, but it’s actually an ultra-soft fleece pantsuit.  We have to admit, the Forever Lazy does address some of the design flaws of the Snuggie.  For example, the pant legs offer protection from Snuggie stair accidents. Imperfect studies have shown that 7 out of 10 Snuggie wearers end up tripping down the stairs when they wear their Snuggies to the football stadium (though it could be because someone pushed them).  In addition, the tapered sleeves will help eliminate stove burner accidents.

Rumor has it that the Forever Lazy even comes equipped with a pocket for Bon-Bons. Thus far, the reviews have been stellar. Even the monk community has broken its silence on the new product. “It’s not fair! We had to stay quiet to get our robes. Snuggie people can just pick them up at the store. It’s about time someone did something about that.”

Of course, the best feature is that there are no embarrassing “Snuggie moons,” since the back is fully closed up.

Watch the Forever Lazy video now.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7AiNX9g

What do you think? Will you purchase a Forever Lazy?

Hurricane Irene: A Test of Parental Survival

August 29th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Start the presses! We’ve got a new bumper sticker idea — I May Have Survived Hurricane Irene. It wasn’t the high winds, torrential downpours, or menacing sky that made the task so challenging. It was actually the loss of power, or more specifically, our children dealing with the loss of power.

“Oh My God Mom!” I can’t take it!” shouted my sixteen year old, Katie, on the verge of a full blown panic attack.

“I know, Honey, the wind is pretty scary, isn’t it?”

“It’s not the wind. It’s my laptop. There’s no Internet access!”

“Yeah Mom, and I can’t AIM or text. I won’t have any friends left. I’m doomed,” said my youngest.

“What do we do?” they asked, panicked.

“Well, we can play games or better yet, we can talk.”

“Talk! How can we talk? We have no Internet!”

“Ah, girls, I meant to your father and me”

“Oh God!” sobbed Katie.

“Girls, I’m sure it’s just temporary,” I said, reassuring them the best I could. “We’ll probably have our power back in a few hours.”

“A few hours? I can’t wait that long! We may as well just move because I won’t have any friends left.”

I don’t know what they were thinking. It certainly wasn’t easy on me, either. I’m as connected as the next dysfunctional, Facebook addicted person. Though, fortunately I had another way to stay occupied — a method that was quite foreign to them.

“Reading Mom, really? I hope you don’t expect us to do that.”

It seemed like a good plan, until their constant interruptions made concentrating impossiblet. “Mom, is the power back yet? Isn’t it, huh?”

“Why don’t you girls go upstairs and visit your father?” I asked.

“We can’t. He’s sound asleep.”

After his fitful sleep (about 8 hours), my husband came downstairs all nice and apologetic.

“Thanks for letting me sleep, Gene. By the way, you look really pretty.”

“Mike just so you know, you may want to tell me that when the house is not in a blackout.”

Fortunately, we managed to get the kids to sleep with the promise of a new, power-full day on a Monday. That is until 7:30 a.m. this morning when I was awakened by that painful shriek from Katie upon realizing that things had not changed.

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

=

Cats, Dogs, and Asperger’s Syndrome by Anonymous

August 22nd, 2011 | 7 Comments

We received this wonderful article from a parent of a daughter with Asperger’s. If you have something you’d like us to share, contact us at info@shutupabout.com.

Imagine for a moment a person who has grown up in a family where they only ever had pet dogs.  Their friends and neighbours had pet dogs – all different breeds, colours and temperaments, but still, fundamentally, dogs.  They all went to the dog park together every afternoon and always had a raucously good time.  They had never, ever, ever seen a cat.  Not once.

Then one day they stumble upon an adorable looking creature that is cute, furry, has a black wet nose, four paws and whiskers and for all intents and purposes, looks exactly like the type of friendly, willing to please dog they had known and loved all their lives.  Its tail is waving to and fro in what is perceived to be a welcoming gesture so they go over, ruffle up its soft fur and attempt to roll it over to scratch its belly, anticipating their affectionate gesture will be delightfully received.  Only it’s not a dog, it’s a cat, and their interaction is interpreted very differently.  Lets just say, fur will fly and it will fly furiously.

Welcome to the world of a child with Asperger’s Syndrome.  A solitary cat, surviving in a room full of boisterous dogs.  Its every move being analysed, interpreted and modified based on the framework of rules, behavioural patterns and ingrained habits of the canine species.  And as a result, being disastrously misunderstood.

Dogs wag their tails as a sign of happiness and anticipation of social interaction.  Cats swish their tails as a warning to back off and give them much needed space.  Dogs always welcome affection in whatever way it is offered to them.  Cats will also offer heartfelt affection but it needs to on their terms, at a time that suits them.  Sometimes they just need to be left alone. Dogs depend on your approval for their emotional wellbeing.  Cats depend on certain things being in place in a routine that they can depend on, and will then reward your reliability with their unwavering friendship.

Dogs are inherently social.  They are pack animals with deeply entrenched hierarchical rules of canine society and as a result are desperately eager to please, and occasionally challenge, the pack leader.  As puppies, they will romp and play delightedly with their littermates until they fall into an exhausted, but happy heap on top of each other at the end of the day.  They rarely turn down an offer of affection and will warmly greet their family with furry hugs and sloppy kisses when they get home.

On the surface, cats may seem more aloof, but cat lovers around the world will be quick to tell you they are always keenly observing every detail and will reward those who take the time to understand them with warmth, affection, loyalty and love.  Dogs are less discriminating in whom they shower with their boundless love, and this is part of their universal appeal, but it is a trait that cats simply don’t understand  or tolerate.  Their love needs to be earned.

Dogs enthusiastically learn new tricks and are keen to show them off to gain further approval.  Cats have extraordinary agility and mysterious extra-sensory skills, but will only display them when the circumstances dictate they are necessary.  They need to be coaxed out and encouraged or will remain hidden forever.

Cats may not always look you in the eye, but they can see straight into your soul and will quietly commune with you while you process the problems of your world.   Dogs will sense your unhappiness but may not fully understand it, so will entice you to capture some of their perpetual joy by grabbing their lead and making you take them for a walk to cheer you up.  Their destination may be the same, but their journey could not be more different.

If you whistle for a cat to come to you, try to wrangle a leash onto its collar, drag it outside for a walk and hope it will thank you for letting it romp around the dog park then you are both doomed to crumple in a heap of confused despair. Simply said, cats are wired differently to dogs.  They are not better or worse. Just different.

So if you want to understand my child with Asperger’s Syndrome, try to think of her as a cat in a room full of dogs, and you will be a lot closer to coaxing out her unique gifts, helping her understand social behavior that she may otherwise find bewildering, and maybe in time her gorgeous, eager to please peers will gain a greater appreciation of the grace, beauty and uniqueness that bestows her, just like her feline doppelgänger.