Blog of the Week – A Mother’s Perspective from Signapore

January 28th, 2012 | 1 Comment

Have you ever wondered what it’s like for parents to raise special children in other parts of the world? We certainly have and were enlightened when we received this beautifully crafted article from Siti Zulaiha who lives in Singapore. Though she is located at the other end of the world, her feelings hit home with us, as she struggles to get her child the support he desperately needs.  Please take a moment to read it and leave a comment.

Maybe he’s late because he’s the youngest or maybe we pampered him too much or maybe he is just not ready to talk yet.  I wondered. Why doesn‚t my son talk when he was already 2? Why does he always find it hard to go to sleep no matter how sleepy he was?

I decided to do my own research on sleeping difficulties but I came across Autism instead. That was when my world came crumbling down. Everything suddenly fell into place. Every research I did was talking about my precious handsome boy. I told my husband first and I cried every day and night. Next I told my family. I do not see a point in keeping my son’s special need a secret. I need all the support I can get. I need more information. Others may be able to help me. Slowly, I gained strength. I switched my brain to focus on helping my son. I want him to not feel as if he‚s alone.

It was not easy and it is still not easy. My tears are welling even as I composed this article. Even after more than a year of his official diagnosis, my heart still breaks and my wound is still bleeding. I do believe that I have progressed a lot. I do not blame anyone anymore. I do not try to find the cause of it anymore. No time should be wasted. My readings shows that autism has a high chance of learning abilities if detected early. We have already enrolled our son to join EIPIC ˆ Early Intervention Program, run by MCYS ( Ministry). The waiting list is terrible. There are more autistic children than EIPIC centers. All research shows that autism is best tackled  before the age of 3. My son was almost 3 and nobody is giving him any places. I emailed Minister Vivian Balakrishnan for help. MCYS contacted me but told me they could not help me. I cried and begged them. I shouted at the officer who called me. Time is running out. They finally offered to put my son’s name in 2 EIPIC centers. But I still have to wait.

While waiting, I do what I can to learn more. I attended a few talks and courses to understand Autism. My colleagues shared with me lots of information. One of them was even a Special needs educator. She passed to me all her books and PECS – Picture exchange communication system, even before I knew about PECS. We practiced PECS even till now.

One seminar I attended was by Dr Wendy Lawson, a PhD in Psychology. She has autism and her husband and 2 sons are autistic as well. She opened my heart to understand autism in a different way. Autism is not a disease or a disability. It just meant they are humans with a different view in life. Problem arises when they do not understand our views and rules. Thus that‚s what therapies are for. She explained the pain of having to deal with Sensory issues. It’s as if their 5 senses are superpowers. All these information are embedded in my mind. Now I know why my son may not like to step on sand or why he flapped his arms.

When EIPIC still did not have any vacancies, I tried to put him in private EIPIC centers. The fees are exorbitant. The fees are literally unaffordable. It ranges from $2k-$3.6k per month. We are average income holders. Yes, we do live in a 5 room flat and are fortunate enough to afford a car and a maid. We are living a comfortable life, but there’s no way we can get an extra $2-3k a month for his therapies. We were unable to sell the car off yet. We couldn‚t downgrade our flat because we just moved in. EIPIC by MCYS was our only hope. Nobody is hearing our pleas.

Once my son has been given a placement in EIPIC, the world becomes brighter. He is so smart. He even starts to talk now. The sweetest word that came from his lips was “Mom.”

EIPIC, however effective, till now could not afford to give each child the recommended hours of therapy each child need. It is recommended that each child needs 33 hours of therapy per week. My son is currently receiving 10 hours per week. Because of the long waiting list, desperate parents went out all the way to try other things for their children. We tried methods which were not recognized such as craniosacral therapy and special diet. We make our children guinea pigs for their own good.

Society is cruel to those who are different. A society is made up of individuals. These individuals failed to realize that God never made anything the same. Even rainbows have different lengths. If they loved their children, we loved our children too. If they want proper and good education for their children, we want it too. If they couldn’t bear to see their children suffering when they were sick, we couldn‚t bear to see our children suffering their whole life too.
I wished I can be his eternal bodyguard….

If You Commit The Library Crime, You’ve Gotta Do the Time?

January 6th, 2012 | No Comments

When you’re a working parent of two special needs children, it’s not uncommon to be a bit forgetful. This forgetfulness might occur in the form of missed therapist appointments, unfilled prescriptions, or confusion with themed school events. (“Mommy, I told you, today was school picture day NOT crazy hair day!”) In the past year, due to her daughters’ growing maturity, Gina has been far less forgetful. “Mommy, you can’t go to the gym. I’ll miss my Saturday Social Group.”

There was, however, one thing that Gina was very forgetful with — returning library books. In fact, due to our mother’s illness and other events this summer, she completely forgot to return three of them — creating a hefty library fine of nearly two hundred dollars. Too embarrassed to return them, Gina held on to them longer into the fall. She was quite ashamed, and certainly wasn’t brought up to do this as both of our parents had stellar library records.  Fearful that she might be called out for her crime publicly, she avoided in-town stores and events. It wasn’t until a fellow resident informed her about fine-free Wednesdays that she was ready to face her crime. So, early one Wednesday morning, she trekked to the library in her trench coat and dark glasses and dropped them off, finally releasing herself of the burden and the humiliation.

Gina was one of the lucky ones, however, a cute little 5-year-old girl from from Charlton, MA,  didn’t get off so easy. She actually had a policeman come to her house to scare her straight for  her overdue library book, causing the poor little girl anxiety.Keep in mind, this is Massachusetts, the state where corruption runs rampant.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57351513-504083/mass-library-sends-cops-to-collect-overdue-books-from-5-year-old/

Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Should Gina be allowed to walk free when this poor child is traumatized?

 

 

 

She Ain’t Heavy; Her Butt’s Filled With Cement

November 22nd, 2011 | 1 Comment

Those who have known us for awhile or even met us in person know that we are big on being honest and admitting our imperfections. It’s why we openly share that we are “not that bright.”  We do, however, think we are much brighter than the woman in the article below. Apparently, she decided that her body wasn’t curvy enough and that she needed an enhanced behind. But she wasn’t looking for any behind — she wanted a bargain behind that would work with her limited butt-get. Since Wal-Mart does not offer “Everyday Low Prices” on cosmetic surgery, she turned to Oneal Ron Morris, a convict who posed as a cosmetic surgeon. Oneal helped her reach her curvier goal (see pictures in link below), however, he pumped up her behind with cement  mineral oil and flat tire sealant. There is also some unconfirmed speculation that he also used a school bus.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45361508/ns/local_news-miami_fl/#.TsvO9k_8p7M

Clearly, the victim should have clued in when she saw the cement mixer outside.

What do you think?  Do you think she’s not bright or just the butt of a bad joke?

 

A Mother of An Idea — New Imperfect Book in the Works

November 10th, 2011 | No Comments

 

 

P and G are pleased to announce that we’ve begun work on our next book. And we’re not just talking about our checkbook (we do plenty of work with that). In honor of our loving mother, Viola, who passed away in August, we are going to write a humorous heartwarming book that celebrates the gifts and love of our mothers. If you’ve lost a mother, mother figure, or grandmother and would like to contribute a reflection or humorous story, send an email to info@shutuapbout.com. Also, we’re pleased to announce the launch of our new Facebook page, Mother Always Said... There, you can post pictures and share stories with others who want to celebrate the gifts of our mothers. As always, thank you for your tremendous support as we attempt to give thanks to the wonderful, loving and imperfect woman who gave us so much.

Did you know… October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month

October 20th, 2011 | No Comments

 

If you wouldn’t mind taking a break from your leaf peeping, pumpkin carving, or candy shopping, we’d like to tell you about an important event in October — Spina Bifida Awareness Month. We were shocked to learn that that every day in the United States, an average of 8 births are affected by Spina Bifida or a similar birth defect of the brain and spine.

Here are some facts about Spina Bifida:

·        Spina Bifida remains the most commonly occurring complex birth defect in this country.

·        The root cause of Spina Bifida is unknown and the effects for each person are different.

·        Spina Bifida is a multitude of problems that affect the mind, the body and the spirit.

·        Advancements in treatment and prevention have opened new doors for those with Spina Bifida.

·        While it presents unique challenges, those affected by Spina Bifida are able to attend school, work, raise a family, and spend time with friends just like everyone else.

 

This year the Spina Bifida Association  hopes to bring to light through pictures the successes of those who live each day with this birth defect.  By launching “Celebrate SB,” a Facebook photo contest <http://www.facebook.com/spina.bifida.learn> designed to acknowledge the accomplishments of the Spina Bifida community, people around the country can encourage each other to tell their story through a symbolic photo or favorite frame. These pictures aim to highlight how our community celebrates their lives.  Click  <http://www.westglen.com/online/CelebrateSB.pdf>for “Celebrate SB” contest rules!

It would warm our imperfect hearts if you could celebrate awareness of Spina Bifida by joining  the Spina Bifida Association on Facebook <Doggie got issues? October 11th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Since we’ve been traveling the country speaking, we’ve become familiar with many different types of mental health conditions and disabilities. We’re thrilled to have gained this knowledge, though our husbands think we take things too far. “What do you mean you’ve diagnosed the Fed Ex man with OCD? He has to get  your signature.”  We’ve even applied this knowledge to our dogs, Max and Rocky. Patty is convinced Rocky has an eating disorder and Gina is convinced her dog Max has Asperger’s.

“Pat, do you ever notice Max doesn’t look you in the eye when you talk to him? I think he’s an Aspie.”

“Gene, don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t have Asperger’s. He’s just stealing from you.”

We actually do believe  some dogs suffer from anxiety and depression, and were not at all surprised to learn that there are actually medicines to treat them. Check out the article below that discusses how Doggie Prozac has helped dogs with separation anxiety.

Have you diagnosed one of your pets with a mental health issue or disability? Tell us about it.

http://teddyhilton.com/2011-10-11-puppy-prozac-helps-dogs-deal-with-separation-anxiety/?from=PH

 

Take It E.Z.– Life Goes On for Lightbulb Cookers

September 19th, 2011 | 3 Comments

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, neither of us are fans of change. Specifically, the ones we’ve both been experiencing over the past few years. “Mommy, please turn off the air conditioning. It’s snowing outside.”  Our latest concern is regarding the 2007 legislation that will replace the incandescent  lightbulb. We have two pressing questions over the new lightbulb changes coming, including:

1) Will we still see incandescent lightbulbs over our heads when we have a good idea?

2) And most importantly, what will become of the Easy Bake Oven, which is powered by incandescent lightbulbs?

While our calls to the U.S. Government about the first question have remained unanswered, we do have clarification on the second question. It appears that Hasbro, makers of the Easy Bake Oven, have redesigned the oven to offer an alternate source of heat — a 100-watt space heater. That’s not all. While they were tinkering under the hood, they decided to re-vamp the outside and give it a fun, trendy new look. Clearly, this is “not your mother’s Easy Bank Oven,” though our mother never had one. We’re not sure if that’s why she never bought us one. Whatever her reason, she did us a disservice. Sometimes it’s hard not to be bitter and think about what our lives might have become had we possessed one.

“Pat, if I had one back then, I probably wouldn’t call the kids to dinner by telling them to get in the car.”

“I hear you Gina. And I’d probably be competing on Bravo’s Top Lightbulb Chef, too.”

Well, since our mother’s passing, we realized that we are adults (at least by age anyway), and decided that it’s time we flew on our own. As a result, we will be purchasing a new Easy Bake Oven. We were so excited, we even told our father.

“Dad, guess which two people are cooking Thanksgiving dinner?”

Sounds like a brilliant idea to us. And speaking of brilliant ideas, did you see a squiggly or incandescent lightbulb over our heads when we came up with it?

Put on Your Pity Party Pants!

September 14th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Let’s face it, we’re all human. Well most of us are, except for some the pets and imaginary friends that are on our Facebook page. And in being human, it’s not uncommon for us to feel sorry for ourselves when things don’t work out the way we planned for us or our children. On these occasions, it’s not uncommon for us to throw a pity party. Our most recent blog for Psychology Today discusses the pity party phenomenon. Check it out.  Be sure to leave a comment.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shut-about-your-perfect-kid/201109/put-your-party-pants-were-having-pity-party

Do you frequently host/attend pity parties?

Product of the Week — Forever Lazy

September 12th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Step aside, Snuggie fans. There’s a new product to hit the lounge wear scene — the Forever Lazy. It looks like a Snuggie, but it’s actually an ultra-soft fleece pantsuit.  We have to admit, the Forever Lazy does address some of the design flaws of the Snuggie.  For example, the pant legs offer protection from Snuggie stair accidents. Imperfect studies have shown that 7 out of 10 Snuggie wearers end up tripping down the stairs when they wear their Snuggies to the football stadium (though it could be because someone pushed them).  In addition, the tapered sleeves will help eliminate stove burner accidents.

Rumor has it that the Forever Lazy even comes equipped with a pocket for Bon-Bons. Thus far, the reviews have been stellar. Even the monk community has broken its silence on the new product. “It’s not fair! We had to stay quiet to get our robes. Snuggie people can just pick them up at the store. It’s about time someone did something about that.”

Of course, the best feature is that there are no embarrassing “Snuggie moons,” since the back is fully closed up.

Watch the Forever Lazy video now.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7AiNX9g

What do you think? Will you purchase a Forever Lazy?

Hurricane Irene: A Test of Parental Survival

August 29th, 2011 | 1 Comment

Start the presses! We’ve got a new bumper sticker idea — I May Have Survived Hurricane Irene. It wasn’t the high winds, torrential downpours, or menacing sky that made the task so challenging. It was actually the loss of power, or more specifically, our children dealing with the loss of power.

“Oh My God Mom!” I can’t take it!” shouted my sixteen year old, Katie, on the verge of a full blown panic attack.

“I know, Honey, the wind is pretty scary, isn’t it?”

“It’s not the wind. It’s my laptop. There’s no Internet access!”

“Yeah Mom, and I can’t AIM or text. I won’t have any friends left. I’m doomed,” said my youngest.

“What do we do?” they asked, panicked.

“Well, we can play games or better yet, we can talk.”

“Talk! How can we talk? We have no Internet!”

“Ah, girls, I meant to your father and me”

“Oh God!” sobbed Katie.

“Girls, I’m sure it’s just temporary,” I said, reassuring them the best I could. “We’ll probably have our power back in a few hours.”

“A few hours? I can’t wait that long! We may as well just move because I won’t have any friends left.”

I don’t know what they were thinking. It certainly wasn’t easy on me, either. I’m as connected as the next dysfunctional, Facebook addicted person. Though, fortunately I had another way to stay occupied — a method that was quite foreign to them.

“Reading Mom, really? I hope you don’t expect us to do that.”

It seemed like a good plan, until their constant interruptions made concentrating impossiblet. “Mom, is the power back yet? Isn’t it, huh?”

“Why don’t you girls go upstairs and visit your father?” I asked.

“We can’t. He’s sound asleep.”

After his fitful sleep (about 8 hours), my husband came downstairs all nice and apologetic.

“Thanks for letting me sleep, Gene. By the way, you look really pretty.”

“Mike just so you know, you may want to tell me that when the house is not in a blackout.”

Fortunately, we managed to get the kids to sleep with the promise of a new, power-full day on a Monday. That is until 7:30 a.m. this morning when I was awakened by that painful shriek from Katie upon realizing that things had not changed.

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”

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