The forgetful Promotions Department at Shut Up Industries is pleased to announce the finalists in our Picture This Contest. For this spirited imperfect competition, we asked special children age 16 and under to submit their illustrations that show their imperfect mother, father, or caregiver in a natural state.
Help us pick the winner by casting your vote for two of your favorites below. Simply leave a comment with the selection numbers of your choice. The two drawings with the most votes will each receive a $50 VISA gift card. VOTING ENDS 8:00 p.m. WEDNESDAY, MAY 22.
May 21st, 2013 | No Comments
At the risk of boasting (something we fight against daily), we consider ourselves experts in the area of imperfection with particular expertise in professional therapy. We don’t provide it; but seek it (often). One need only look at our check registers or bank statements to draw that conclusion, “Wow, Pat! My last five purchases were to Family Therapeutics.”
“That’s great, Gene. Five more, and you’ll get that pill organizer you’ve been looking at.”
Our experience with therapists for our children and ourselves makes us somewhat experts on the types of therapists to avoid. Here are some in particular:
Narcissistic Therapists: “Enough about you, Doc. Can we talk about my problems now?”
Over Reactive Therapists: “Doc, could you hold your gasps until after I finish my story?”
Projecting Therapists: “Look Doc, I’m sorry your teenager doesn’t listen to you, but this session is about my disrespectful teenager, OK?”
Poor Business Therapists: “What do you mean you don’t accept credit cards? My family was hoping to get rewards and go to Disney on our issues!”
Quiet Therapists: ”Doc, are you there? Wake up!”
Judgmental Therapists: “Oh, you mean like YOU never run away from your home?”
To bring a little humor to the subject of therapy, P & G have put together this short video. Take a look and then tell us what type of bad therapist you’ve encountered.
May 13th, 2013 | No Comments
Just when we thought we’d heard every outrageous school call possible (i.e. “Your son was caught streaking down the hall at school.”), imperfect parents on our Facebook page have surprised us again with these shocking and funny calls they received about their boys.
” Your son is okay, but he duct taped his eyebrow and then he peeled it off and now his eyebrow is missing and he has glue stuck where his eyebrow used to be and a red rash.”
“Your son did #1 in a trash can. Allegedly.”
“The aides have a bet going and they want to know if your son’s middle name is really huggybear?”
“‘I’m calling because we don’t know what to do’…” Says the ‘autism expert.’”
“Your son has drawn a very sweet picture of you reading in bed with him and his sister for our Original Artworks project — it’s really such a sweet picture. It’s just that he drew you with no shirt on.” Explanation #1: Original Artworks gives parents the chance to purchase a variety of items — mouse pads, coffee mugs, key chains, etc. — featuring their child’s artwork. Explanation #2: No, I have never read to (or done anything else with) my children with no shirt on!!!
“Your son has taken all the screws and bolts out of his teacher’s desk and it has collapsed on the teacher’s lap.”
“Your son got ahold of scissors and cut his shirt completely in half.”
“Your son fell into a tank of sharks and rays. He’s fine.”
“Your son just ate a page from his science book. We are going to have to bill you.”
“Your son has no pants on. He said you didn’t give him any.”
“Your son’s lunch today was too distracting. ”
“Your son swallowed a piece of dry wall. We called poison control and they said to just make sure he drank plenty of liquid.”
“Your son licked the principal. And his shoe. And the desk. But, not in that order.”
“We need you to come get your son out of the bathroom. He’s flooded the boys’ room and everyone is afraid to go in.”
“Your son took off his pants and was smacking another child with them because the other kid made fun of his pants.”
Do you have a shocking school call to share about your son or daughter? We’d love to hear it.
May 8th, 2013 | 5 Comments
Today, I had to put on my big girl panties and do something I hate doing (not cleaning, silly); I had to go to Walmart. I know, I know, there are a lot of people who love Walmart and their rollback prices, convenient hours (I think the Walmart in Hell is open 24/7), and of course, smiley stickers. I, however, am not lured in by any of it.
But there is something that draws me to face my fears and walk the aisles of Walmart month after month — better Pharmacy prices. What can I say? I’m a big sucker for a good Prozac palooza!
Don’t get me wrong, I do have to sacrifice a lot to save. The Pharmacy is quite busy, as I realize every time I have to call their automated system to refill the meds. (“Your prescription will be ready for pickup in May of 2032. If you’d like an earlier date, say May of 2024, press 1.”).
I also hate the fact that I have to have a “private” consultation with the pharmacist before I can “get the goods” (by private, I mean right there in the middle of the store next to the busy Doritos aisle). What’s most disturbing is that often, I know more than the pharmacist (“You forgot irritability and increased eye rolling”).
Today, as I was waiting in the long line for my turn (Clearly, the deli could teach them something about efficiency. Nobody needs to consult with me about my choice in genoa salami), I thought about all the unpleasant things I’d rather be doing than standing in line at Walmart. And without further adieu, here they are:
- Weighing in at Weight Watcher’s after Supersizing at McDonald’s.
- Working behind my carefree, relaxed Aspie on an assembly line.
- Taking a comprehension test after reading the Parent’s Rights brochure.
- Hosting a sleepover with the entire 8th grade class.
- Driving Storrow Drive (scary highway in Boston) with my new teen driver.
- Driving anywhere with my new teen driver.
- Chasing a tornado with my weather-obsessed, anxious daughter.
- Getting behind the Duggar family (all 19 kids) at Dairy Queen.
- Modeling in my bathing suit at a Mean Girl Convention.
- Eating ketchup sandwiches with my sensory kid.
How about you? Do you like shopping at Walmart? Or is there something far more unpleasant you’d rather do?
May 1st, 2013 | No Comments
A woman on our Facebook page wrote:
“My autistic brother is currently going through a virtual surgery phase. At the moment, he is sitting at the computer performing a liposuction procedure. When mom asks him to do something, his response lately has been: ‘not now mom, I’m in surgery!’”
April 23rd, 2013 | 1 Comment
Do you ever wonder how our special children really see us? Now’s the chance to see for yourself in our new spring contest — Picture This. For this spirited imperfect competition, we’re asking special children ages 16 and under to submit their illustrations that show their imperfect mother, father, or caregiver in a natural state. Winners will receive a a VISA gift card – and of course, the glory of knowing they won a Shut Up Contest (American Idol has nothing on us).
Here are the contest rules:
- Drawings/colorings must be submitted by April 30, 2013.
- All entries should be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Picture This Contest.” Note any emails not with this subject may NOT be considered. (P and G are distracted and may miss them. “Oh look a shiny penny!”)
- Entrants must include their name and age and a brief description of what their parent is doing in the photo. Note: Parents may scribe for their children.
- Two (2) winners will be selected. Each will receive a $50 Visa gift card.
- Entrants and their parents grant permission for Shut Up Industries to promote photos for imperfect publicity purposes.
- Five (5) finalists will be selected by Shut Up Industries and posted to this Blog for voting.
- Voting will begin on Friday, May 4 and will run through Sunday, May 6 when the winner will be announced.
- Contest reminders will be set up on our Facebook page.
Finalists will be selected for creativity, humor, and reality.
Winners who receive the most votes on our blog will be selected.
Good luck and may the best imperfect win!
April 22nd, 2013 | 1 Comment
April 20th, 2013 | No Comments
Tell us how your special kid defied the “experts.”
April 19th, 2013 | No Comments
You back your car into the garage door.
You consider a visit to the mailbox a “mini vacation.”
You look forward to visiting the dentist.
You forget to put on your pants (and don’t bother to go back and get them).
You pass your spouse coming home from work in the driveway. “Welcome Home, Hon. See ya!”
You ask door-to-door salesman if they need any extra help.
You can’t wait for your next mammogram.
You’re giddy when your mother-in-law comes to visit.
You find yourself braless at the grocery store.
Your neighbor asks for a cup of sugar and you bring it over along with an overnight bag.
You have practice fire drills once a day.
April 13th, 2013 | 5 Comments
You took the spices out of your spice rack and replaced them with prescription bottles.
He tells you “Ma, we need to up my meds.”
The pharmacy staff pulls your meds off the shelf before you even get to the counter.
You are bleeding out on the ground and your child asks for you to get them a cookie.
You line up the medication in the morning and it resembles a village of pills.
The receptionist at your child’s therapy office is your therapist while your kid is at their appointment.
The school has your number on speed dial.
You get excited to go the grocery store alone.
You consider it a great day when you haven’t heard screaming for an hour.
When time in the dentist’s chair counts as “me time”!
When you send medication to school with lunch money.
When you know it’s medically necessary for YOU to take a Xanax 15 minutes before she gets home from school, and you fantasize that you can give her one too.
You consider adding Prozac to your meatloaf recipe.
When your therapist responds with “wow!”
When you have a bag of supplies like snacks, water, phone charger, etc., packed for your visit to the ER.
When your walls look like Swiss cheese.
When your child tells you that he’s taking Abnormal Psychology and you say, “Finally, some homework I can help you with..”
You have your child’s psychiatrist’s cell phone number and she tells you not to hesitate to use it.
When you tell your daughter, “I hope you have a better day tomorrow” and she responds with “I hate you”.
Tell us how you know you’re raising a child with mental health issues.