Our new book, (Did we mention we wrote a book?), Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid, A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children, is about to release in two days. The good folks at Three Rivers Press are in full publicity mode, but we know that if we want this book to be super successful, we’re going to have to roll up our sleeves (well, we’ve been in somewhat of a heatwave, so we really don’t have sleeves) and do our part to drum up publicity of our own. And that’s not so easy to do these days, especially when you have a positive message. Think about it…the national magazines, blogs, and television shows are filled with stories of people behaving badly. With those media hogs, Lindsey Lohan, Tiger Woods, and Kate and John Gosselin, it’s hard to get a feel-good story about everyday imperfection a headline or two.
But don’t worry about us. If we’ve learned anything from raising our special kids, it’s how to be resilient. So if we can’t beat them, we will join them.
As a professional marketer, Gina has devised a plan to get our book some media attention so caregivers of special children can have hope they are not alone. Of course, when she presented the plan to Patty, the older, more conservative sister, Patty expressed some doubts. So rather than get into a sisterly squabble, we will share with you the publicity plan and let you weigh in if you think we’ve gone to far.
1) Balloon Sister. Mirroring that media star Balloon Boy, Gina devised this brilliant plan. The difference will be that Patty will actually be launched with the balloon (not hide in her garage). This idea seemed to play well with Patty’s strengths (she’s full of hot air and loves to run away from home).
2) Crashgate 2. Anyone who knows Patty knows that she loves a good party. As a result, it seemed logical that she would enjoy a party at the White House. And now with invitations not required, she can just show up. Gina’s plan calls for Patty to show up unannounced wearing a Shut Up sandwich board. And because she recently passed the “Bar” exam, Patty can fix her own drinks. “Pat, the Secret Service will hardly know you’re there.”
3) Bump-Its at the Beach. The other day, we watched the cast from Jersey Shore ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. We’re fascinated by the attention this group has been given. Why them and not us? We’re 100% Italian, go to the gym, and can often be seen at beaches (though we do prefer wetsuits to bikinis). We realized that we were lacking two key things — poofy hair like Snooki and an interesting name, such as the Situation. As a result, we are now wearing Bump-Its in our hair and answering to the names, “The Stress,” and “The Calamity.” Overall, our looks are going over quite well. “Pat, you look like That Girl!”
4) Prank phone calls to Mel Gibson. With any luck, we can annoy him into calling us back, and making threats against us. Our recorders are all set to go.
5) Shark Week. For Discovery Channel fans, this is the week, we’ve all been waiting for — Shark Week. It just so happens that there have been Great White Sharks spotted on Cape Cod. In fact, one of the beaches in Chatham, MA has actually been closed due to the sightings. Gina has asked Patty to capitalize on this opportunity. “Gene, I’m not sure about this. When you said you wanted to chum around, I thought we were just going to hang out in the water, not make me swim out in the middle of the ocean wearing a chum necklace.”
So let us know what you think? Are we going too far or better yet, do you have any other ideas?