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Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Girl Next Door Has Some ‘Splaining To Do

Hugh Hefner with his two girlfriends Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt at his birthday party in Munich (2006).

Image via Wikipedia

Playboy mogul, Hugh, with two of  the “Girls Next Door”

including Kendra (pictured left).

My husband wants to live in his neighborhood.

We just don’t get it. Why do our special children always tell us we’re “bad parents” for making them go to the dentist (“Mom, I’ll never forgive you) or wearing tags in their clothes (“Emily Rose don’t you dare remove that horse from the front of your shirt. Do you know how much I overpaid for that?”) when other mothers do worse things than that. Take Kendra Wilkinson, the former Playboy bunny and reality TV star. You may know her as one of Hugh Hefner’s three beautiful  live-in Playboy Bunny girlfriends and star of the reality show, The Girls Next Door. (While we’re on the subject of that, we never quite understood that show title.  I mean the girl who lives next door to me is a lovely older woman, Agnes, who walks around in a housecoat watering flower beds.)

This week, breaking news came out  that this particular “Girl Next Door” is now the star of two sex tapes, the latest of which will release soon. In her single days, this might have been easier for her to take. But now that she’s a mother, she’ll have some ‘splaining to do to her young son Hank, Jr., when he grows up. At least she won’t need to go to the measures some of us special mothers do to bring kids to our homes (“I’ll give you some candy if you play with my daughter.”) No sir, her son will have  boys knocking down his door. (“Mom, can you not wear the bunny tail when my friends come over?”)

Anyway, it’s all just so awkward. What mother wants their children to see them in this way?  I felt bad when my teen daughter caught me in my Spanx. “Mother Ewww! Don’t tell me you’ve taken up biking? Please don’t wear those in public.”

Kendra’s even got it worse than all that; she’s put this out there for the whole world to see. I just can’t imagine millions of perverted strangers watching her perform for the cameras. Heck, I  get nervous just knowing people are watching me peruse the medicine aisle on the Walmart cameras. (“Check it out Boss. This one’s buying Metamucil.”) I also feel really bad for Kendra’s nice, professional-football-star husband, Hank Baskett. That poor guy must go  into cardiac arrest when the coach calls the team in on  Mondays to “break down” film. It must cause him a near breakdown. “Dear God in Heaven, please let it just be the video of our humiliating loss and my six fumbles.”

I’m sure Hank never expected this type of past from a “Girl Next Door.” It’s certainly going to make me take a closer look at Agnes. Who knows what’s under that housecoat?

So if Kendra can admit she has a sex tape, you can admit you’re not always a perfect mother. So go ahead, give us one of your imperfect mother confessions. Or better yet, send them to us on film.

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2 Responses to Girl Next Door Has Some ‘Splaining To Do

  1. Liz Charpentier January 29, 2011 at 11:38 pm #

    when my dd had her first breakdown 7 yrs ago (“first” – like there’s a baby book sticker for that or something) she was prescribed Zyprexa, which pretty much knocks you out just even THINKING about taking it. Well, things were tough for mom & dad, and our little bit of mindless fun was when we got hooked on “24” on some DVD’s I had. We figured “what the hell, let’s give this show a try. Supposed to be good.” Well, 5 episodes in a row later we were COMPLETELY sucked in. The geniuses that we are, we figured out that the earlier dd went to bed, the more Jack Bauer we could fit in. Let’s just say, there were many days when the sun was still shining during her “bedtime” dose.

  2. Goldenshowers February 28, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

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