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Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

10 Things I’d Rather Be Doing Than Shopping at Walmart

I'm goin' in...



Today, I had to put on my big girl panties and do something I hate doing (not cleaning, silly); I had to go to Walmart. I know, I know, there are a lot of people who love Walmart and their rollback prices, convenient hours (I think the Walmart in Hell is open 24/7), and of course, smiley stickers. I, however, am not lured in by any of it.

But there is something that draws me to face my fears and walk the aisles of Walmart month after month — better Pharmacy prices. What can I say? I’m  a big sucker for a good Prozac palooza!

Don’t get me wrong, I do have to sacrifice a lot to save. The Pharmacy is quite busy, as I realize every time I have to call their automated system to refill the meds. (“Your prescription will be ready for pickup  in May of 2032. If you’d like an earlier date, say May of 2024, press 1.”).

I also hate the fact that I have to have a “private” consultation with the pharmacist before I can “get the goods” (by private, I mean right there in the middle of the store next to the busy Doritos aisle).  What’s most disturbing is that often, I know more than the pharmacist (“You forgot irritability and increased eye rolling”).

Today, as I was waiting in the long line for my turn (Clearly, the deli could teach them something about efficiency. Nobody needs to consult with me about my choice in genoa salami), I thought about all the unpleasant things I’d rather be doing than standing in line at Walmart. And without further adieu, here they are:

  1. Weighing in at Weight Watcher’s after Supersizing at McDonald’s.
  2. Working behind my carefree, relaxed Aspie on an assembly line.
  3. Taking a comprehension test after reading the Parent’s Rights brochure.
  4. Hosting a sleepover with the entire 8th grade class.
  5. Driving Storrow Drive (scary highway in Boston) with my new teen driver.
  6. Driving anywhere with my new teen driver.
  7.  Chasing a tornado with my weather-obsessed, anxious daughter.
  8. Getting behind the Duggar family (all 19 kids) at Dairy Queen.
  9. Modeling in my bathing suit at a Mean Girl Convention.
  10. Eating ketchup sandwiches with my sensory kid.

How about you?  Do you like shopping at Walmart? Or is there something far more unpleasant you’d rather do?




5 Responses to 10 Things I’d Rather Be Doing Than Shopping at Walmart

  1. chrisd May 9, 2013 at 3:12 pm #

    I embrace it. My kids and I sing the chorus to “We are the people of Walmart” when we go to the store.

    However, I remember hating shopping when the kids were really little. Back then every store was extremely unpleasant and a little break consisted of thumbing through a magazine.

  2. Amy C May 9, 2013 at 5:01 pm #

    I hate going to Wal-mart, too. I find it impossible to even enter the parking lot without “We are the people of Walmart” going through my head the whole time I’m there.

  3. Kmartin May 9, 2013 at 6:30 pm #

    Personally I avoid Walmart like the plague – I appear to do my volunteer duty for Special Olympics Cop on Top – a little known phenomenon in MA where various super members of the Law Enforcement Community stand on the roof in November in NE to raise money.
    I am convinced that there is a methodology to having a super Walmart and only having 2 registers open on a Saturday – people will circle around like stacked airplanes hoping either the lines shorten or another register will open. The real reason is if you circle long enough you will impluse by – the male will find some something else he can live without OR the kids will have a meltdown and you will give in to overpriced crap at checkout.

  4. Stacy W May 9, 2013 at 10:19 pm #

    I take notes from the kids and Bring Sunglasses, Ipod with earbuds and run through the isles.

  5. Mercedes May 10, 2013 at 2:00 am #

    Thank you for the laugh! The moment I pull in I feel guilty about the cheap foreign labor and low wages among other things. Then the sad sack employees bring it home! I really need to cough up the extra couple bucks to stay out of there.

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