Connect with us
facebook twitter LinkedIn

Welcome to Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid

Therapy and sanity for ordinary parents of special kids.

Imperfect Boys Will Be…Well…Imperfect Boys


Just when we thought we’d heard every outrageous school call possible (i.e. “Your son was caught streaking down the hall at school.”), imperfect parents on our Facebook page have surprised us again with these shocking and funny calls they received about their boys.

” Your son is okay, but he duct taped his eyebrow and then he peeled it off and now his eyebrow is missing and he has glue stuck where his eyebrow used to be and a red rash.”

“Your son did #1 in a trash can. Allegedly.”

“The aides have a bet going and they want to know if your son’s middle name is really huggybear?”

“‘I’m calling because we don’t know what to do’…” Says the ‘autism expert.'”

“Your son has drawn a very sweet picture of you reading in bed with him and his sister for our Original Artworks project — it’s really such a sweet picture. It’s just that he drew you with no shirt on.” Explanation #1: Original Artworks gives parents the chance to purchase a variety of items — mouse pads, coffee mugs, key chains, etc. — featuring their child’s artwork. Explanation #2: No, I have never read to (or done anything else with) my children with no shirt on!!!

“Your son has taken all the screws and bolts out of his teacher’s desk and it has collapsed on the teacher’s lap.”

“Your son got ahold of scissors and cut his shirt completely in half.”

“Your son fell into a tank of sharks and rays. He’s fine.”

“Your son just ate a page from his science book. We are going to have to bill you.”

“Your son has no pants on. He said you didn’t give him any.”

“Your son’s lunch today was too distracting.

“Your son swallowed a piece of dry wall. We called poison control and they said to just make sure he drank plenty of liquid.”

“Your son licked the principal. And his shoe. And the desk. But, not in that order.”

“We need you to come get your son out of the bathroom. He’s flooded the boys’ room and everyone is afraid to go in.”

“Your son took off his pants and was smacking another child with them because the other kid  made fun of his pants.”

Do you have a shocking school call to share about your son or daughter? We’d love to hear it.
















No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Join our imperfect mailing list.

Sign up for our Email Newsletter

I consent to receive your newsletter.